I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
