2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
