If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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