their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
