Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
