Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
