DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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