Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
