Who wears a wallet chain?!
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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