Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
