Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize
