hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize