I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
