im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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