new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
