like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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