Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
