How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
