he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
