Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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