I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
