Barsexuality is the new black.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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