after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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