You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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