all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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