i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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