Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
