hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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