Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
