And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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