he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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