i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
