is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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