if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
