why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Randomize
