everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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