It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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