He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My pussy is not your playground.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
