thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
