I puked a lego.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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