He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
