masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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