jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
