I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
