why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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