Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
