I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
