This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
