I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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