His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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