I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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