Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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