seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
