I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
