My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
