If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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