I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
