Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
