normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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