Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize