Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
