Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
