420 ftw
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize