I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
