have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
