I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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