Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
