My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
