He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
