areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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