Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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