i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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