Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
