the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
