there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
