I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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